Our Cousins From Across The Pond

Here in the US we have Rednecks/White Trash, Hood Rats, but across the pond in the UK there's the Chavs (say:ch-ave), the cousin to the Rednecks/White Trash and Hood Rats. If you think the Rednecks and Hood Rats are the only ones that can turn their weddings into freak shows, think again.

This gets a nomination for Tackiest Bridal Party of The Month Award.

Wow...the apple doesn't fall far from this tree.

Not even RuPaul would dream of wearing a gown like that for her wedding!This has to weigh as much as I do (I'm 180 lbs.) if not more!

She puts the C in Chavtastic. She's got more tulle than a bridal shop!

Moral of the Story: A wedding to remember is classy, not trashy!

What's In A Theme?

Quite a number of couples have their wedding on or around holidays like Christmas or even on New Year's Eve, New Year's day or the ever so popular Valentine's Day. The novelty can be seen as cute or cliche in some people's eyes, but who cares as long as you can enjoy it and have something nice to remember the day you exchanged vows to spend the rest of your days with your spouse for good and bad till death do you part.

Mrs. Claus called, she would like her wedding gown back.

Besides holidays being a major theme in some weddings, there are also somethings that the bride and/or groom are fond of that they incorporate in the theme like Elvis, a favorite movie or even favorite sports team.

As God as her witness, her gown looks more like a duvet, but frankly my dears she doesn't give a damn.

It's all good to incorporate something you love or hold near and dear to you , but just don't overdo it.

Play That Funky Music

The music is one of the things that could make or break a party or wedding reception: whether it is a live band or DJ. The selection you make in the DJ or band is important, but not as important as the playlist, especially when the majority of the guests are either the younger or older generation. The best way to be sure of that is to make a song that everybody would like and that would have everybody on the dance floor from the teens to the elderly. Special requests are a nice way for guests to make a loving tribute or dedication to those they love, but there are some special requests that are made just to play the song they like. Not everybody will be okay with a special request, especially if it's not in good taste and one way to keep somebody from doing that is to have the DJ or band only play the song selections you approved of on your playlist.

Nothing screams lame like The Chicken Dance

What's just as important is selecting a live band or DJ that suits your style in music but is willing to work with you on things like pricing, playlists and so forth. If you choose to have a live band, have them audition and ask how long they're willing to play for and what music they'll put on during their intermission to prevent dead air.

Ridiculously bad song renditions are the biggest kill joys of any festivity.

Ipod receptions are the newest trend in some wedding receptions due to the fact that it's a more personal touch for couples and it saves a bundle in hiring a DJ or live band. Some may have a trusted family member, friend or a staff member like an usher (depending on the venue) to make the announcements. Don't get me wrong, there are some cons to this up and coming trend: guests taking it upon themselves to change the song and being SOL if any of the sound equipment goes out since you have to supply your own.

The last thing we all need to hear is the latest death metal or profane laced rap hit.

Moral of the story: Choose your music wisely or you'll end up with more complaints than compliments.

Two Feet and Four Paws

I am the proud pet parent of a 3 year old male Schipperke (dog) "Bear" who my fiance and I have raised since he was a wee pup at 7 weeks old. He's been with us through thick and thin and is the joy of our lives. Some pet parents choose to have their pet included in their nuptials as the ring bearer or flower girl. Before including your furry companion in your bridal party, check with the venue first (unless it's at home) if pets are allowed. If so, think really hard having your dog in the wedding, especially if your dog has some issues that could hinder the wedding or worse.

Did I see a cat?! Where is it?! Lemme at it!

Not every pet will be able to sit still and behave for a period of time without getting distracted. There are some pets that will behave, but once you turn your back it could be an entirely different story.

This sure beats dog biscuits!

No two pets are the same and if there are multiple pets, be careful with pairing them if they weren't raised in the same home . I do not recommend including your four legged companion if they have issues with separation, crowds and/or children (if you plan on having any at the wedding).

Hey, what am I chopped liver?!!!

Moral of the story: Best friend doesn't always mean they'll be on their best behavior.

Mommie Dearest

A fellow member of a forum I frequent once said that a wedding is a dictatorship, not a democracy. Truer words could not be spoken. Despite the burgeoning rise of couples footing the bill for their wedding, there are still a few mothers and/or fathers of the bride or groom that do for most of all of the bills. It is nice to help, but the helping can morph into controlling over time. Most talk about the bridezilla, but there is one creature that is just as bad,if not worse than bridezilla. That creature is the momzilla. The momzilla could be the mother of the bride or groom and will have no qualms on letting you know her opinions and demands. Forget that it's your wedding, in her mind it's HER wedding. Money isn't the only reason she uses to justify her controlling and overbearing ways, it could be because she had no say in hers and wants to live vicariously through you. She drives everyone around her and can drive a wedge between the bride and groom with her ways.

Momzilla vs. The Bride

Momzillas obsess over the wedding over anything else but there are some that strong arm their way in the wedding plans.

The Dictator.

The wedding plans are not the only thing momzillas voice their opinions over, it's also the bride or groom's choice of partners. Some momzillas are more subtle than others when it comes down to showing her displeasure with her future son or daughter-in-law.

Save that for a funeral.

Way to upstage the bride. How rude!

The two worst faux pas the mother of the bride or groom could ever make are wearing solid black or white to the wedding.

Before anybody gets steamrolled and their feelings hurt, the best thing to do is talk things over and let Mom know that you are open to her opionions and/or advice and let her have some involvement in your plans and do let her know if and when she is overstepping her boundaries.


Moral of the Story: Helping does not equal dictating.

Stark Raving Bride and Groom

Planning a wedding is a joyful and stressful time. There's so much to do and only so much time before the big day. Typically the father and/or mother of the bride was the one to foot the bill for the wedding, while the bride did the planning. Now that has changed with the bride and groom both footing the bill and planning the wedding. It can be stressful, but there are ways to release it without hurting anyone's feelings in the process. Unfortunately that isn't always true with some brides. Even as a fellow bride-to-be, I still can't fathom how someone can go from normal to the the monster we all know as bridezilla. We all want our wedding to be wonderful, but some brides demand total perfection and refuse to accept anything less, even if it means drastic measures and seems tactless and downright rude in everyone else's eyes. If bridezilla's expectations aren't met, you can be sure that she will incur her wrath on all who stand in her way.

The My Super Sweet 16 girls on Mtv have nothing on her.

It's easy to get consumed with the wedding plans, but the most consuming of all bridezillas are their egos. The things that come out of a bridezillas mouth always have the words "me" "I" "mine" or "my" in it..

Megalomania much?

Now there is a small, but growing amount of these monsters lurking from the shadows called the Groomzilla. It's bad when you have bridezilla, but when bride and groomzilla unite, be afraid....be very very afraid.

The groom of doom.

Moral of the story: Keep your cool and perspective. This day may be about you, but don't forget that there is no I in We. A wedding is only one day, but marriage is a lifetime.

Guests Gone Bad

For any special event, it is wise to be on your best behavior and don your finest attire for the occasion. Depending on the occasion, you must follow the proper protocol to be on the good graces of the bride and groom and other important figures and if you want to continue to be invited to other functions they will host.

During the ceremony, cell phones or any electronics need to be on vibrate, silent or completely shut off. Unless that call is an emergency, do not answer it and leave the ceremony site if you need to talk on your cell phone.


Way to draw attention to yourself. Not only will you be getting the evil eye from the other guests, but the officiant and bridal party too. Worse, they will hear your not so private conversation.


Some couples choose not to include children on the guest list for various reasons: budget, capacity restrictions or because of the behavior. If the bride and groom wish to include children on the guest list, there are a few things parents must follow with small children and . During the ceremony, instruct the child to keep quiet and sit still. That can be a hard feat for children, but one way to keep them busy, quiet and happy is to bring coloring books or a pad of paper for them to doodle on . As for potty breaks, instruct the child to whisper to you when they need to go, so there are no loud interruptions during the ceremony. It's okay to let your child play at the reception, but keep a watchful eye so they won't cause trouble.


It's bad enough to hear a cellphone go off, but it's worse with children. Even a fellow parent would give the death glare if another parent can't keep little precious quiet.


Babies are a different story, but proper etiquette still must be followed. If the baby starts to cry, quietly excuse yourself from the ceremony and go to another room to soothe the baby.

Nothing is more piercing to the ears than a loud baby.

Having a drink or two is okay, provided that you are on your best behavior and not causing a scene. Some can tolerate alcohol more than others, but the bad behavior that comes with it is the intolerable part for anyone with an inebriated guest.

The hangover won't be the only thing she'll be regretting in the morning.

Lewd or crude remarks, verbal or physical fights, harassment, or loose inhibitions like blurting out that the groom once slept with some strippers while you're drunk are bound to haunt you. That haunting may result in you being snubbed from future events or ruining whatever relationship you have with your fellow guests and/or the bride and groom.


Moral of the story: Tactfulness get you anywhere.